Category Archives: Two mums, one blog

What a weekend!

On Friday, the pain around my belly was still coming and going. Ten days and it hadn’t eased at all. I went to the health centre and found Sister Cecilia leading the weekly Antenatal Clinic.

The Sister is the only qualified midwife in the whole eight districts of Jaiama Bongor Chiefdom. As part of the free healthcare plan, the government has asked her to come out of retirement and train-up health workers, like the Maternal/Child Health Aids.

I had not been seen by the Sister before but, after some quick checks, she explained that there’s no equipment here to help predict a due date, so a vague estimation is given based on your monthly cycle. Sometimes a woman can just miss a period though, and it doesn’t mean she is pregnant – and that’s what’s happened with me! The Traditional Birth Attendants, even the Maternal/Child Health Aids: they all got it wrong!

They said I would give birth by the end of November, but the Sister thinks I might not give birth for another week or two! I have been having false labour – she called it Braxton Hicks Contractions – which could have been brought on by my anxiety over the baby’s ‘late’ arrival.

I was so relieved to be given a good explanation for what I’ve been going through. At last, I could stop worrying and get on with life as normal for a couple more weeks.

I started doing laundry again, and pounding palm nuts to make oil. We use a lot of palm oil to make the food for Christmas! On Saturday, I walked into and back from Koribondo to the market and, yesterday, I went to Church.

But last night, the pain started to get worse. By 6 o’ clock this morning, it was agony. My mother, aunt and half-sister helped me walk to the mile-and-a-half to the health centre.

This is it!

Someone fetched MCH Aid Lucy, who opened the health centre, and I laid the two clean lappas (pieces of material) I had brought with me on the centre’s only delivery bed. One lappa so I do not have to lie on and stick to the plastic sheet covering the bed, and one to wrap the baby when it is born.

The labour was like all my others. I did not make a noise, even though it’s a big baby: I don’t want people to hear me and be asking, ‘Who is this shouting?’ Men do not want to hear women in childbirth! And like all the others, it was over in a couple of hours. Thankfully, there were no complications.

Mamie's newborn son

By 9 o’ clock, I was sat holding my baby boy. He’s a very healthy 3.7 kilogrammes (8lb 2oz).

After coming to greet his son, Suli has gone straight to buy clothes, plastic baby pants, everything we need for our new arrival. In Sierra Leone, superstitiously, we never buy anything before the birth – just in case.

I have no idea if my baby was in fact early or late! I think his timing was perfect, as Christmas is the only time of the year when all of the family comes together. My Mama and Papa, my brother and sister have returned from their schools, and even my Grandma will come from Kenema this week. In seven days time, they will all still be here for his naming ceremony as well.

I cannot stop smiling! Even his crying makes me happy. I feel so blessed: my beautiful, Christmas baby boy. Thank you!*

* Rather than ‘Congratulations’, life is so precious in West Africa that the mother says thanks/is thanked for bringing another life safely into the world

Mamie has been sharing her story with Amy Waddell in Sierra Leone

By putting the health of children and mothers first, we can end the preventable deaths of children. Add your voice to our campaign for Child Health Now.

Hello, sorry I have not been in touch before the weekend, but… I’m so happy to tell you that I had my baby in the early hours of Thursday morning.

“It” is now a little girl called Poppy. She is lovely and cute, although there is a possibility we may be a bit biased. She weighed in at 6lbs 13 and a half ounces and she was born at 03:48. The birth didn’t quite go as planned but I suppose it was ok as far as births go – it could have been much worse.

I woke up with pains on Wednesday which quickly progressed into contractions. By the time I wondered about them, timed them and called Nick to come home we were leaving for the hospital. When we got there we were told there was no room in the maternity triage so I was put on a labour ward where I was the only one in labour – think I scared all the pregnant ladies in there!

After telling the midwife my birthing plan she hit me with the news that the birthing pools were now unavailable as there was building work going on. I was very disappointed as I really wanted to be in the water. I was offered a bath which helped for a while until my waters broke.

After I got out of the bath the midwife checked me and I had gone from 2cm to 4cm dilated in an hour! I went down to the delivery room and was given some diamorphine which, with the gas and air, really helped. I was a bit spaced out which amused Nick as I would gain lucidity at some surprising moments and could join in the conversation around me.

It took quite a while for me to become fully dilated at which point I was in a lot of pain and begging the midwives to give me an epidural! I could hear Nick saying quietly: “She doesn’t really want one” – which was true.  It was too late by that point, anyway.

Proud dad Nick

10cm – time to push! It was incredibly hard and tiring and took a further two hours before our little girl was born. I didn’t hold her straight away as she needed a little oxygen to help her to breathe, but once this was all done we both had a little cuddle. It felt very surreal and I couldn’t believe this little bundle was actually our daughter. It was lovely to see Nick hold her and he was smitten right from the word go. Nick was really good – I don’t think he knew quite what to do at first – but soon took his cue from the staff and was very encouraging.

There were no beds on the post natal wards, so after a shower and a go at breastfeeding, we were home by eight o’clock in the morning. I didn’t even know how to look after the umbilical stump! But surprisingly we feel fine – not panicky at all and Poppy seems happy enough. I know it’s early days and next week we might be tearing our hair out, but so far so good.

I am just watching the clock to give Poppy her next feed. She’s just so tiny. Life has changed forever!

I lark around a lot, but truthfully – from the heart – I was so happy when I found out Mamie was pregnant again. I remember how proud I felt when she gave birth to our other children.

And I adore our girls. There’s Zainab, who most of the time stays near her school in Gondama, and Esther, here. Then there’s this one. I reckon it will be another girl. I’ll be surrounded by women! I already have a name in mind, but I know Mamie wants to go to church and receive a name from the Bible. We’ll see… I will tell everyone my name-idea when the baby arrives.

Some men want boys to carry on their lineage, but I’ll be more than happy with another girl. As long as Mamie and the baby are safe, I’ll be grateful for whatever God decides to give me.

At 37 years old I already feel like a pro at this. Yes, pregnancy and childbirth are women’s business but when the child comes I’ll change pants, I’ll wash and feed the baby – I’ll do everything Mamie wants me to do. Some of the more traditional men don’t, but I do. These are small things.

The big things are money and this delay in labour.

Esther and her 'Papa', Suliaman

Raising a family is expensive! We’ve been collecting and cracking more nuts this harvest, to process palm oil to sell as I know there will soon be an extra mouth to feed. Let this be the last one: five is a good number of children. Two, soon three, with Mamie and I have two children with another woman, my first wife. She lives with me in Old Condor Village, but my house is not big enough for Mamie to come and live there as well. I split my time between there and Mamie’s place here, in the New Village, that I built for her.

I can’t wait to see my child. We don’t have money for drinking, but I’ll buy chicken so that we can cook good food and Mamie can eat while I play with the little one. I will be waiting outside the labour room, so I can be the first to hear the news of my daughter!

Suliaman shared his story with Amy Waddell in Sierra Leone

By putting the health of children and mothers first, we can end the preventable deaths of children. Add your voice to our campaign for Child Health Now.

Nick and Ailsa

OK, so my first thought when Ailsa said she’d volunteered me to write something on this blog was: “Why would anyone want to know what I think?” I mean, pregnancy and babies is a girl thing, right?

Well, as I’ve come to realise, it isn’t just a girl thing; it’s a thing that can come to dominate almost everything that happens on a day-to-day basis – for both of us.

As I’m quite a bit older than Ailsa, I must admit that I thought I’d missed the whole baby phase. So, initially, the thought of having a baby was a little bit alien, and more than a little bit scary.

If I’m being honest, even this late in the proceedings, it still is! I don’t know how I’m going to cope having to wake up throughout the night and work the next day. I’m not sure how I’ll get used to having a little someone dependant on me; I’m not sure the house is big enough; I don’t know if we’ll have enough money. Am I old enough for the responsibility? At 46, am I TOO old?

Reality bites: we’ve created another little human, a life, a future, someone we’re always going to be parents of, someone we’ll always be there for.  Now that’s scary, but more than that, it’s exciting!

I guess as men, we have the easy part? We don’t have that person growing inside us; we can’t feel the kicks and turns and fluttering; we can see from the outside – but that’s different.  I can’t imagine what it feels like for Ailsa so it’s hard to get as excited as she does. The closest I can get is to see the excitement, anticipation and happiness in her face when she talks about it. That’s the real joy of the pregnancy for me.

So, everything will change? Well, not everything. I may live to eat these words, but as everyone knows – I DON’T DO POO! That’s one thing that won’t change!

I thought this morning was it! The pain was so severe, I was crying. I sent word to the Old Village for Suliaman to come and take Esther, so I could go to the health centre.

My half-sister, Marie, has come to stay for Christmas and she walked with me into Koribondo, with her one-year-old Effie tied to her back. I had to keep stopping on the way – to let the flashes of pain pass, and to venture off the road into the Bush to wee.

There was no waiting at the health centre today and the Maternal/Child Health Aid on duty, Lucy, took me straight into the delivery room. But instead, after examination, she told me I’ve got an infection and gave me a large injection of antibiotics in my left buttock. Eesh! It was more painful than the contractions! I rubbed and rubbed the spot, but the pain spread through my pelvis and my legs! Aunt Adama soon came from the village to check on me. Either she or Marie have been with me every time I have given birth.

Thankfully, after hours of lying down, getting up and pacing around the delivery room, the pain subsided. Lucy advised that I remain in Koribondo, so that the health centre is close: I’m told, once more, that I could deliver at any time. She explained it’s a big baby, which is why labour is taking so long.

Before I left this morning, I did not have time to cook breakfast for the younger ones, so Marie walked back to do this. It is good that she is here, as there is no-one else in my mother’s absence: she’s been out of the village for weeks, harvesting rice.

As the eldest, it’s my responsibility to cook for everyone in the family compound. I ask my youngest brothers to help, but they never do. If I waited for them to do what I asked, it would get to night-time and I would still be waiting!

Breakfast is served

Still, with all of the adults in the Bush every day – clearing scrub for farmland to grow cassava and rice – cooking and caring for my brothers, sisters and cousins keeps me busy. Especially since last week, when Suliaman told me I must stop working and rest. I like to work hard though. I work in my garden or I go to the farm to harvest my rice, yams, the okra and cassava. But the farm is far away: three miles there and three miles back is too far for me to walk now!

This past week my second-youngest brother, Muhammed, has been complaining that we have no Christmas decorations: I told him to go crack nuts and make oil to sell, so he has money to buy them. He still hasn’t done it! And I have no money to buy anything for Christmas.

So, now I am staying with my cousin, in her big brick house in town. It’s very quiet without Esther. I really do have to stop working now. And just wait.

Mamie is sharing her story with Amy Waddell in Sierra Leone

By putting the health of children and mothers first, we can end the preventable deaths of children. Add your voice to our campaign for Child Health Now.

Although I do love this time of year, I’m afraid we are not too Christmassy this year. I’ve done most of my shopping online as I hate the crowds in the shops and sometimes it’s just easier. I can understand why Mamie tried to avoid the crowds at the market last weekend.

As for our day-to-day shopping, I drive to the supermarket which is about 10 minutes away, but I don’t enjoy the lifting and carrying of the bags, especially as I am usually alone whilst Nick is working. The recent snow has meant that he is home a bit more at the moment, so we can do some preparations together.

We don’t usually get a tree as we’re normally out and about at Christmas so not at home much to enjoy it. We’ll go to Mum’s for Christmas this year so we can enjoy her tree instead! I’ve been very good at resisting cute Christmas clothes for the baby, but we do have a “First Christmas” hat, bib and socks set from my sister and a little Santa hat that I just had to buy. Everyone has warned us that we’ll end up with so many clothes and some won’t even be worn as babies grow so fast!

I’m so glad that the baby is due at Christmas – it will make it extra special. It’s a time when everyone can relax a little bit and it’s a lovely family time. It also means I don’t have to get straight into a healthy eating regime and can enjoy my mum’s Christmas dinner and maybe some stilton or brie which I have not been allowed for the past nine months. Mmmmmmm!

Ailsa and Bailey going for a walk

It’s been lovely having Nick around a bit more. We can have some lazy mornings and walk the dog together, which is getting more of a challenge – not because I am uncomfortable but because my bladder can’t last for too long! I suppose this is good as it means the baby’s head is there… but little comfort when I have to look for toilets everywhere I go!

Well, my latest attempt to hurry this baby along was a clary oil sage bath (Googled it!). Nice and relaxing, although getting in and out was a bit of a challenge and it doesn’t appear to have done anything. Oh, and I’ll be eating the pineapple in the kitchen. I want to avoid the appointment on Friday to discuss induction if I possibly can.

Like Ailsa, I went to the health centre on Friday. Every week, at Koribondo, they hold an Antenatal Clinic and women from the surrounding villages walk into town to attend.

Luckily, I was able to get a lift in this morning and arrived early; just before 9am. The next woman to arrive told me that she’s also overdue: her belly is so much bigger than mine! Still, it was only at six months I really started to show.

It was a long wait at the health centre. The Maternal/Child Health (MCH) Aid doesn’t do the Health Talk until a good number of women have shown up – so, past 10 o’clock. Only after this do we then sign-in and get called for our check-ups.

Elizabeth Tamu, Maternal/Child Health Aid, listens for a foetal heartbeat

I told the MCH Aid about my contractions though – how the pain comes for about an hour at a time before cooling off – and she said it sounds like the first stages of labour. So before the Talk she took me into the health centre’s only delivery room and checked my blood pressure, put a metal cone to my bump to listen for the baby’s heartbeat and, finally, did a vaginal examination. She said everything is fine and that I could deliver anytime.

But I know this is just the start: when I am in real labour, my legs feel all cold and its painful all around my pelvis.

… now, days later, and still no delivery!

People tell  me that exercise will help, so on Saturday I did my usual three-mile-round walk to Koribondo market to buy what I need for cooking this week: salt, chillies, stock cubes, dried fish. My aunt and some of my brothers – eight of my 11 siblings live in my village – walked with me, and we caught up on family news and going-ons.

I had asked a girl from the village to come early and sell the palm oil I’ve made so, first off, I had to find her and get my money before I could buy anything. The market’s busy – perhaps because it’s the second-to-last one before Christmas – and I try to stay on the outskirts. My lappa (skirt/wrap of material) keeps falling from my waist because of my bump, even without trying to push through crowds!

A woman sells dried fish at Koribondo Saturday market

On the way home, there was a woman sat at the front of her house holding a small, small baby. I asked if I could hold the little one in the hope it encourages mine to come soon.

The pain has been continuing to come and go all weekend, sometimes more severely than others. The exercise actually makes it worse – and it’s hot! But I wanted to go to church on Sunday morning, so I walked the mile-and-a-half track into Koribondo again. It was good to go: during the service everyone said prayers for me and the baby, which I’m really thankful for.

Sometimes, when I’m in the last stages of labour, I ask one of my brothers to go and buy me ginger ale as it makes my stomach hot and hurries things along. But I’m not at that stage yet!

As time goes on, and after what happened the last time I was overdue, I’m getting more and more worried for my baby.

Mamie is sharing her story with Amy Waddell in Sierra Leone

By putting the health of children and mothers first, we can end the preventable deaths of children. Add your voice to our campaign for Child Health Now.

How exciting for Mamie – hopefully there will be good news soon? I am worried that being overdue will mean I will have a huge baby!

Well, I was back in the clinic on Friday and I am officially one day overdue. The midwife I saw was different from the one last week. She did the usual blood pressure tests and urine check, both of which were fine. We measured the bump and listened to the baby’s heartbeat and all was good there, too.

She was very reassuring as we talked about my plans for the birth. As I am low risk she said it would be fine for me to have a water birth and stay at home for as long as possible whilst I am in labour.

I have been seeing midwives at the local children’s centre and at the hospital where I am choosing to give birth. There are two hospitals roughly the same distance from my house and I could choose which one to go to. I chose the slightly closer one as I was born there myself, and I was familiar with the place.

Ailsa's local children's centre, where she's been going for check-ups

The midwives offer information about how to take care of yourself whilst pregnant – what foods to go for, what foods to avoid, exercise, vitamins etc. I always thought I would make sure I ate incredibly healthily when I was pregnant and refuse anything that was bad for me. My diet is varied and I have avoided all the things they say not to eat, but I have indulged in things like chocolate and biscuits when I have fancied them. And chips! There has been part of my brain saying: “Well you’re pregnant, why not?” and it isn’t helped by people saying: “Well, you are eating for two after all!” Even though I know it’s a myth, it seems to justify that second piece of cake!

I don’t really believe that you need to take supplements if your diet is varied enough; however I suddenly found myself buying Pregnacare vitamins “just to make sure”. I’ve taken them the whole way through and intend to keep doing so while I am breastfeeding.

So, if nothing happens before next Friday I have been booked in to the hospital to discuss induction options – but I really don’t want to be induced! Nick keeps telling me to be patient and the baby will come in its own time. It’s not that I have had enough of being pregnant; it’s just not knowing when it’s all going to happen!

By putting the health of children and mothers first, we can end the preventable deaths of children. Add your voice to our campaign for Child Health Now.

The cramps started at about six o’clock last night. Not a pain, more of a rushing feeling. They weren’t too bad, coming and going every couple of hours, so I waited until this morning to visit the traditional birth attendant (TBA). I wanted her to check the position of my baby, to make sure everything was on course, before I go all the way to the health centre.

Mamie walks to the traditional birth attendant, carrying Esther

There are three TBAs in the old village, which is a short stretch – perhaps a few hundred metres – further into the bush. My husband Suliaman is at the farm and my older child  Zainab is staying with my sister, so I took Esther, who’s nearly three, with me: she just cried when her uncle tried to take her!

I quickly found my TBA, Lucy, near her home. Some years ago she received training for her work and she wanted to take me to the health centre straight away, but I just wanted her to check the baby’s position. We went into the room the TBAs use, in the middle of the village, and I lay on the bed where I have given birth to all of my children up until now. Lucy felt all round my belly, reassured me, and told me to prepare to go to the health centre – my baby will come within the next couple of days. Maybe even tonight.

This news makes me really happy; I am sure everything will be alright.

Traditional birth attendant, Lucy Allia, checks Mamie's belly

I had bad dreams with my other pregnancies: I was told that these are why my children keep dying. I went to see a sorcerer after my stillborn and he performed a ritual. I haven’t had any bad dreams since then. And now I have Esther.

I have also been going to the health centre every month with this pregnancy, like the nurses advise. I get my tablets and the injections to protect my baby and me. Before the free health care in April, sometimes I did not go when I should. You had to pay 2,000 leones (around 30 pence) every time you went. But often we had no money, and if you went with no money they would not see you.

I was meant to visit the health centre last week: the nurses told me I should visit every week now that I am overdue, but I have not been since the end of November. There are no community health workers to come to the village, so I must go to there and it is far. I saw the TBA last week though, to check my baby is fine.

Mamie, lying on the bed where she's given birth seven times

The women are starting to prod and rub my belly now, which is meant to bring on labour.

Before, when I was sat outside my house cooling down after my walk to the TBAs, an Uncle* passed by and told me that he sent his wife to the health centre on a motorbike, so that the up-and-down would help bring the baby. She delivered as soon as they pulled up!

For me, it’s in God’s hands now.

And I will go to the health centre first thing tomorrow.

* mark of endearment and respect

Mamie is sharing her story with Amy Waddell in Sierra Leone

By putting the health of children and mothers first, we can end the preventable deaths of children. Add your voice to our campaign for Child Health Now.

So, today’s my due date; I’m nearly at the end – or the beginning!

After suffering a miscarriage in January, both my partner Nick and I were happy but cautious when we found out we were having a baby. It seemed to take forever to get to 12 weeks when we could breathe a sigh of relief, knowing the statistics were now more in our favour. From then on, time seems to have flown!

I was just a few weeks pregnant when I first went to see my midwife at the local GP. She booked me in for an early scan as she knew I was anxious to see a heartbeat after the miscarriage. It was lovely to have the first scan and to see the tiny movements of a tiny baby, that all-important heartbeat fluttering away and of course the precious picture to show our family and friends.

We then went to a history-taking appointment at the hospital. The midwife asked many questions about mine and Nick’s health and also the health of our families, including diabetes, cardiac conditions, hereditary conditions and much more. It was discovered that Nick and his nephew suffered from pyloric stenosis, which is passed down to firstborn males, and affects the gastrointestinal tract, which required surgery when they were babies. If we have a boy, this may affect him too, but it is good to be prepared.

All the way through my pregnancy I have seen my midwife regularly to have my blood pressure recorded and other tests to screen for infection or other anomalies. I had blood taken quite early on in my pregnancy to check for various things such as rubella immunity, hepatitis B, syphilis and HIV, and also for anaemia. We were offered a test for Down’s syndrome which is done by a simple blood test. If you have a strong likelihood for having a child with Down’s syndrome then you are offered an amniocentesis. However, I chose not to have the blood test and I decided that if my baby does have Down’s syndrome it won’t make any difference to me.

As for when I go into labour, I am planning on staying at home for as long as possible before going into hospital, then I am planning on using the birthing centre and the birthing pool for the labour and the birth. However, having made these plans, I am aware that the best-laid plans can change at the last minute!

So, today’s my due date; I’m nearly at the end – or the beginning!

By putting the health of children and mothers first, we can end the preventable deaths of children. Add your voice to our campaign for Child Health Now.